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Elok
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Emperor
Having tea with the Third Man...
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Mar 2003
time: 21:32
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"It makes you look like a tool to criticize a movie you haven't seen," Drake said, way back when it was still in theaters. Well, I stand before you today after checking it out for free from the local library. I have seen it, all of it. And I say to you: It. Really. Sucked!
It sucked like a nuclear-powered vacuum cleaner. It sucked like a hooker on steroids. It sucked worse than I had expected, which is really saying something. No, it was not as flagrantly homoerotic as I had feared. There were no men getting spears thrust through the backs of their leather speedos, thank God. But it made up for it with stupidity. I could not take any of it seriously, not even the part where the captain's son croaks. As his headless body fell to the ground, my chief thought was, "Now, if only they'd tried the 'single bozo charging up on a horse alone against a whole army' strategy from the start, they wouldn't have had to waste all those generic Persian soldiers for nothing."
In conclusion: 300 sucked.
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King
Portland, OR
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Aug 2001
time: 18:32
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Yes, 300 did indeed suck. Even all the eye candy didn't save that movie from sucking.
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Immortal Factotum
Livin La Vida Kitty Kat
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Jul 2000
time: 21:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Elok
"It makes you look like a tool to criticize a movie you haven't seen," Drake said, way back when it was still in theaters. Well, I stand before you today after checking it out for free from the local library. I have seen it, all of it. And I say to you: It. Really. Sucked!
It sucked like a nuclear-powered vacuum cleaner. It sucked like a hooker on steroids. It sucked worse than I had expected, which is really saying something. No, it was not as flagrantly homoerotic as I had feared. There were no men getting spears thrust through the backs of their leather speedos, thank God. But it made up for it with stupidity. I could not take any of it seriously, not even the part where the captain's son croaks. As his headless body fell to the ground, my chief thought was, "Now, if only they'd tried the 'single bozo charging up on a horse alone against a whole army' strategy from the start, they wouldn't have had to waste all those generic Persian soldiers for nothing."
In conclusion: 300 sucked. |
Just curious, how did the real events unfold, were they different from the film adaptation?
I wasnt there to know for sure how well this movie represented fact?
I have to agree in principle to a lot of movies suck when measured against reality, however, I am well awarre prior to plunking my dollars down that most movies are for entertainment value
Movies dont change my mind, make me want to go paint myself another color or march on our nations capitol, nope, watch em to have some entertainment, much like a monkee f\/ck!ng a fooball or many posters spreading guile and discontent here at Apolyton, just entertainment, same reaason I play civ, for entertainment
 Attachment: omonkeyfleckingfootball.jpg
This has been downloaded 196 time(s).
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Deity
Republic of Texas
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Sep 1999
time: 20:32
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Gramp, I don't know that a civilian knows about monkeys and footballs. I know. They might not.
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Deity
Los Angeles, CA, USA
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Feb 1999
time: 18:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Grandpa Troll
Just curious, how did the real events unfold, were they different from the film adaptation?
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The Spartans were heavy infantry, a solid, unmoving wall of armor and muscle. The guys in the movie were half naked and whirled around like naked ballet dancers.
Sparta had two kings. Leonides wanted to fight. He marched out with his personal bodyguard while the rest of Sparta, under the sway of its other king, observed a religious festival. The rest of the Spartan army was supposed to join Leonides after the festival. They never showed. The last message for Leonides was "Tell the people of Sparta that here we lie, obedient to their wishes."
The Persians had neither war elephants nor rhinoceroses. And they weren't black.
I'd have to go back and watch 300 again to point out all the historical inaccuracies.
But the movie succeeded at what it wanted to be: comic-book action-adventure trash. I knew that's what it would be, so I liked the movie. 
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King
Portland, OR
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Aug 2001
time: 18:32
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Xerxes wasn't nine feet tall, either.
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Emperor
Antwerp, Colon's Chocolate Canard Country
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Jan 1970
time: 03:32
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What's that in metrics?
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Elok
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Emperor
Having tea with the Third Man...
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Mar 2003
time: 21:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Grandpa Troll
Just curious, how did the real events unfold, were they different from the film adaptation?
I wasnt there to know for sure how well this movie represented fact? |
Well, for starters, all the Spartans, far from joking about others diddling little boys, had made pederasty an integral part of their culture to the point that the rest of Greece made fun of them for it. The part about being turned out to live in the wild in late adolescence was mostly true, except they robbed and killed helots (peasants/slaves), not wolves. They were encouraged to do so, but killed for being sloppy if they got caught at it. Overall, the majority of Sparta's population would have been more happy and civilized under the Persian boot. Oh, and there were about 900 servants with the Spartans at Thermopylae IIRC, and they died too. It was actually the last stand of 1200, but three-quarters were too low-ranking to rate mentioning. THEY STOOD FOR FREEDOM!
Also Xerxes was not a freakishly tall guy dressed like the frontman for a death metal band. The Immortals were not orc extras from the LOTR shoot next door, rhinos are not practical as war animals, and while I don't suppose the history books say one way or the other, I doubt he had a fat guy with sword-hands for an executioner.
But forget about all that. It could have been a movie about the Jews single-handedly beating back the Roman legions in 79 AD and still be a better movie than 300, just from better writing and a less ludicrous aesthetic. I saw pretty much everything coming five minutes in advance, except that I wasn't sure if Leonidas would begin the final hostilities by killing the traitor hunchback or the Persian envoy. I kept eyeballing the scene to see if he could jump sideways in slow-mo and throw the spear really hard to run through both of them with one cast.
And I didn't expect him to slice Xerxes on the lip from fifty feet away, just because I thought that would be too silly even for that movie. I was wrong, obviously.
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King
Portland, OR
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Aug 2001
time: 18:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Colon™
What's that in metrics? |
About 3 meters.
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Emperor
Antwerp, Colon's Chocolate Canard Country
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Jan 1970
time: 03:32
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What does the Guinness Book of Records say?
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Emperor
of munchkind land
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Jun 2002
time: 02:32
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Luckily for me I don't allow things like historical accuracy get in the way of me enjoying a work of FICTION... no matter how much it believes it is based on reality. I liked it. Didn't want to buy it, but would throw it away if someone gave it to me.
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Emperor
Spiritually still in BAMA but physically in NJ during the week.
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Feb 2002
time: 20:32
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Who gives a **** about realism? It's a movie adapted from a comic book and in that context it's a great movie!
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Emperor
of the Krauts
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Mar 2000
time: 03:32
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So you're saying comics are stupid.
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King
Hooked on a feeling
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Jan 2002
time: 03:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Grandpa Troll
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I wasnt there to know for sure how well this movie represented fact?
---
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You're younger than we thought
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Emperor
Spiritually still in BAMA but physically in NJ during the week.
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Feb 2002
time: 20:32
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quote:
Originally posted by BeBro
So you're saying comics are stupid. |
I think my opinion was clear. I dont believe I could simplify my comment further without losing meaning.
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Emperor
Charleston, SC No more ships! A lot more drinking!
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Dec 2001
time: 02:32
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quote:
Oh, and there were about 900 servants with the Spartans at Thermopylae IIRC, and they died too. It was actually the last stand of 1200, but three-quarters were too low-ranking to rate mentioning. THEY STOOD FOR FREEDOM! |
In reality it was around 300 Spartans and 700 odd Thespian hoplites that stayed, not servants.
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Technical Assistant
Of the Peanuts Gallery
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Apr 2004
time: 20:32
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