 |
| |
|
|
King
Portland, OR
|
Aug 2001
time: 17:04
| |
|
|
Who says the economic bust will be bad for everyone?
Laid-off Wall Streeter puts gay virginity on auction block
quote:
Laid-off Wall Streeter puts 'gay virginity' on auction block
by Nick Cargo
An anonymous benefactor came to the aid of a 27-year-old straight man, after, having lost his job on Wall Street, he took to the Internet to auction off a half hour of his time to sacrifice his "gay virginity."
At the time of original posting, the anonymous New Yorker had $32,000 in credit card debt after being laid off from his position as a Business Analyst at a large investment bank.
"In the last 3 years during my employment I have lived like an absolute idiot, spending money that I didn't have in order to impress the front office brokers that I worked with and who held the keys to big bonuses," he said. "Unfortunately, I won't see a 2008 bonus (neither will they at this point!!) When I read about Natalie Dylan's virgin auction, I thought to myself, why not me too! I can't say I'm aching to give my 'gay virginity' away, but the idea doesn't completely disgust me like it does for most guys that I know."
At 5'11" and 155 pounds, the man described himself as a "very good looking guy," with a "bigger-than-average number of very good looking girlfriends over the years. The two celebrities that people most frequently say I look like are 'Adam Brody' from the show 'The OC' and a guy who started [sic] in a movie I've never seen called 'Spanking the Monkey.'"
"I am not homophobic but I myself am not gay," he said. "Put simply, I have never kissed another man or touched another man's penis, period. If necessary as was suggested by the other recent virgin auction, I am willing to take a polygraph test to prove the fact that I am not gay and have never had gay sex of any kind.
|
First, doesn't "Nick Cargo" sound like a porn name?
Second, I'd have to wonder if a "half hour" of his time would really be worth the money paid. I mean, if he's a gay sex virgin, I wouldn't expect him to be particularly talented. For the cost, I'm sure a wealthy patron could hire an experienced escort who would give him more, uh, bang for the buck.
In all serious, though, there is a happy ending for the poor guy:
quote:
The man originally announced his plan on his website, gayvirginityauction.com, but the auction has been cancelled due to a "very amazing person" who "has taken pity on me and offered me a real job in my chosen line of work." The man, along with his new employer, will remain anonymous. |
Hope those one-on-one meetings with his new boss go well. 
|
|
| |
|
|
Emperor
The cities of Orly and Nowai
|
Apr 1999
time: 19:04
| |
|
|
Apparently, he was only offering handjobs and blowjobs.
|
|
| |
|
|
King
Portland, OR
|
Aug 2001
time: 17:04
| |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Mrs Snuggles
Apparently, he was only offering handjobs and blowjobs. |
Yeah, and?
A large percentage of gay men aren't into the other option.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
If he says "no homo" afterwards then that cancels out the gay.
|
|
| |
|
|
King
Portland, OR
|
Aug 2001
time: 17:04
| |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Asher
For $32,000, he'd better be. |
I don't think that was his asking price, just how much he was in debt total. His website has been taken down, so there's no way to tell how high the bidding had gone.
|
|
| |
|
|
Emperor
The cities of Orly and Nowai
|
Apr 1999
time: 19:04
| |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Yeah, and?
A large percentage of gay men aren't into the other option. |
I know. I was just pointing out that those were among this guy's stipulations.
|
|
| |
|
|
King
Portland, OR
|
Aug 2001
time: 17:04
| |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Riesstiu IV
If he says "no homo" afterwards then that cancels out the gay. |
Actually, he has to say it three times while spinning counterclockwise, patting himself on the head and waving a wand with a dead bird attached to it. Says so right here in the manual.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Man it seems like everybody is making money by auctioning off their virginity these days. Maybe I could auction off my nasal passage virginity or something.
|
|
| |
|
|
Deity
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
|
Jan 1970
time: 20:04
| |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Actually, he has to say it three times while spinning counterclockwise, patting himself on the head and waving a wand with a dead bird attached to it. Says so right here in the manual. |
I thought it was "spin three times while chanting 'no homo' repeatedly and twirling a dead cat over your head at the stroke of midnight". Let me know for sure since this may impact me personally.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Your Italian flag is most fitting, Theben.
|
|
| |
|
|
Emperor
The cities of Orly and Nowai
|
Apr 1999
time: 19:04
| |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Riesstiu IV
Your Italian flag is most fitting, Theben. |
Switching sides at the drop of the trou?
|
|
| |
|
|
Deity
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
|
Jan 1970
time: 20:04
| |
|
|
I can switch to Irish if you want.
|
|
| |
|
|
King
Portland, OR
|
Aug 2001
time: 17:04
| |
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Theben
I thought it was "spin three times while chanting 'no homo' repeatedly and twirling a dead cat over your head at the stroke of midnight". Let me know for sure since this may impact me personally. |
Ah. You clearly have the manual of the heretical United Gay Alliance. My instructions come from the one true authority, the Allied Gay Allegiance.
|
|
| |
|
|
King
Portland, OR
|
Aug 2001
time: 17:04
| |
|
|
I am certainly not into fisting. Offer declined.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Elok
Nasal passage? You must either have a big nose, a high tolerance for pain or a thing for Asian men...
|
How much does reconstructive surgery for the nose cost. 5k max? If I sell my nasal virginity for at least 30k then I would still have a large profit.
|
|
| |
|
|
Deity
With a view of the Rockies
|
Aug 2000
time: 18:04
| |
|
|
I just don't see how oral or manual services equates with giving up of a "gay virginity"--In any event it sounds like its over
|
|
| |
|
